Blurred
by OnyxHarmony
Summary: Ryan is fifteen now, and feelings for Odis leave him..conflicted. Not understanding himself and struggling with his father's hereditary curse, he takes solace in the kind words of a few strangers at a house party. ( Takes place in the next gen future of the Grumpy-Zane universe timeline, and its something I've been meaning to write for a while. Ryan is my Oc and Odis belongs toGZ
1. Liquid Persuasion

Ryan waved to Odis as they both departed school that day, giving him a smile. "You headed home tonight? I know you wanted to study for the test coming up." Odis paused for a moment, then gave a short nod. "Mhm. I have to be ready for it, right?" He frowned, looking over his red eyed friend. Ryan had been..a bit off lately, but Odis couldn't quite understand why. Perhaps he just needed some space. Ryan chuckled and shook his head, turning a corner down the sidewalk with him. "Maybe I need to study with you some night, I'm failing chemistry pretty badly." He cleared his throat. "Text me when you get home alright? I heard mom talking about some rogue Serpentine teens roaming the streets at night, and-" He stopped himself, turning to Odis. "Listen, I know you can handle yourself pretty well as Arctic Cheetah, but I still want you to be careful alright? You're my..friend." Ryan smiled and patted Odis's shoulder. Odis nodded and went on his way, seemingly satisfied with their conversation. He dropped his smile as soon as Odis left, letting out a sigh of frustration. What was wrong with him? Why did Odis make him feel like that? Walking down the sidewalk away from the direction of his neighborhood, he stared at the pavement. This whole mess has started a few months ago, and he wasn't sure how. Every time he looked at Odis, or the droid did something cute..Ryan's heart would start racing. Questions echoed in Ryan's mind as he lifted his head to cross the street while trying his best to pay attention to passing cars. _'Does this make me gay? There isn't anything wrong with being gay, it's normal but..am I gay?'_ He shook his head at himself and rubbed his face in frustration, sighing. "No.." He said to himself, heading down another sidewalk. "I like girls too, and Odis is a droid. A male identifying droid, but a droid nonetheless. I have no idea what I am." Ryan shook his head, walking into a shadier part of the city without realizing it. Odis was so much more than that, and he knew it. He chuckled a little as he headed past some shops, remembering the time Jason had caught him staring at Odis and daydreaming last month. "God..Jason is right, isn't he? I've got a crush on my best friend."

Pausing when he heard music coming from one of the nicer, larger houses in the neighborhood, Ryan slowly walked up the driveway in curiosity. Was this a house party? The people in attendance looked a few years older than he was. Ryan really should be going home but..maybe getting lost in some music would keep his mind off of Odis. Or at least help him sort it out. He sighed as he came up to one of the teens sitting near the garage, raising an eyebrow. "Is this a private party, or can anyone join?" Atom paused and then put out the cigarette he'd been smoking, blowing a stream of smoke out and looking at the red eyes behind Ryan's sunglasses. He chuckled, giving a sly smile. "Anyone is welcome, kid. Name's Atom." His voice sounded concerned, as he looked over Ryan. "You look kinda upset..why don't ya come inside and listen to some tunes for a while. Might help." He stood up and led Ryan into the house, waving to the two older teens having a discussion over a bottle of vodka. "Lumi, Cobalt..this kid here seems like he wants to relax. Why don't we help him out? Y'know, be neighborly." Cobalt peered up at Ryan, nudging Lumi and gesturing to his height. "Yeah, yeah alright. C'mere and sit.." He trailed off, and Ryan realized he was expected to introduce himself. "Ryan. My name is Ryan." Lumi nodded and patted the spot on the sofa between herself and Cobalt. He carefully sat and rubbed his face, listening to the music playing. Atom sighed, watching the two sit with Ryan. "Ryan, Lumi is sixteen and Cobalt is seventeen, so they're sure to understand whatever it is ya need to get off your chest." He crossed his arms. "Alright..where's Senic and Mags?" Lumi was too busy watching Ryan's conflicted face, shushing Atom. Atom went to protest her dismissive nature, when Cobalt chuckled. "They're around, Atom. Don't worry about it. Why don't you go back outside and go on a liquor run." He grumbled and went out, slamming the door before he left. Lumi gently placed her hand on Ryan's shoulder, rubbing it in reassurance-only to feel the muscle under her fingers tense uncomfortably. She pulled her hand back, shaking her head and pouring a shot. "You'll have to forgive Atom..he's got a bit of a temper." Ryan shook his head from his thoughts and turned to Lumi, watching the shot in her hand. "I.." She carefully handed it to him, closing his fingers around it. "You look tormented and heartbroken, kid. We ain't gonna judge you if you need to vent, but you should loosen up and relax first.. _don't you think?_ "

A few shots later and Ryan was relaxed, shaking his head as he stared at the half empty bottle of vodka they'd been sharing. Cobalt raised an eyebrow, nudging Ryan. "So c'mon kid, tell us what's bugging ya." Ryan sighed and willingly poured a shot on his own, drinking it down and wincing. He still wasn't used to the burning in his chest. "I..have a crush on someone." Lumi chuckled. "Is that all? I-" Ryan twitched and turned to her, eyebrows narrowed. "I ain't.." He paused and shut his eyes, as though trying to collect the words he wanted to say. Opening his eyes and watching her, his sunglasses had slipped down his nose and his red eyes glared at her. "I ain't been interrupting you, let me fuckin' finish for fucks sake!" He sighed and pushed his glasses back up to his eyes. Lumi looked visibly confused from Ryan's eye color, looking at Cobalt, who looked like he had a plan as a sly grin crossed his face. Maybe this kid was.. _special_. Is that why Atom let him in? Ryan took another shot, rubbing his face as he felt the room spin a little, but not too badly. "I'm..bad for this person I have a crush on. I'm a monster, y'know?" He shook his head and sighed. "He could get hurt real bad if he's around me..he doesn't.." Ryan shut his eyes for a moment, voice cracking in shame of what he was cursed with through his bloodline. He missed his blue eyes. He didn't want to be this way. "He doesn't..need to be hurt like that. He deserves better." Lumi dared to reach up and gently rub his cheek, to which Ryan tensed up at and twitched. "Don't-" He flinched when Cobalt's calm voice began talking, distracting him from the fact that Lumi was rubbing his cheek. "She's just trying to comfort you, Ryan.. Isn't that what people do when someone else is sad?" Ryan grumbled and felt Lumi rubbing his cheek, down to his shoulder. She giggled, resting her head on Ryan's shoulder and putting her hand on his chest. Cobalt chuckled and offered Ryan another shot, which he took and drank down-as though he were on autopilot at this point. He was starting to feel the effects of the shots he'd drank in rapid succession, slowly putting his arm around Lumi and holding her. He needed to hold someone right now. _Anyone._

The ache in his chest was dulled by the alcohol in his blood, and he shut his eyes. Opening them and taking his shades off, he looked down at Lumi. "Don't be tryin' nothing funny, you hear me?" Lumi shook her head, watching Ryan with mild curiosity. "I ain't gonna do nothing, I promise. We're all friends here, Ryan." He paused, looking her over and turning to Cobalt, who only nodded in confirmation. "Ya ain't a monster to us, bud. But think about it..do you really need to go back home tonight?" Do you really think this guy you like wants you around, with you being cursed like you say you are?" Ryan sighed, shaking his head. "No..he probably doesn't." His hazy mind fired a question at him, and it hurt. _'Would Odis, let alone anyone else be safe around me? What if I hurt them?'_ Cobalt's tone changed, and he sounded..sympathetic. Lumi knew it was all a facade. "You don't really gotta go home man, we don't mind you stayin'." Ryan frowned, watching Cobalt. "You don't? Why?" He smiled and patted Ryan's back. "Because we look out for each other, and we want ya to stay. Ain't no shame in being an outcast like us." Ryan's vision blurred for a moment as he tried to regain his thoughts, and he nodded. "Yeah..outcast. I guess you could say that." He chuckled to himself. "Yeah..outcast and feared by my classmates." Lumi frowned. "You don't look like such a bad person." Cobalt chuckled. "Neither did Atom when we first met him, and he kicked my ass so hard I could barely move for a week-" Ryan raised an eyebrow at Cobalt. He only grinned. "I told ya, he's got a temper. Short little bastard, but a hell of a fighter." He watched the alcohol from the shots hit Ryan fully, and patted his back again. "So, you decided yet? You gonna go home? Maybe fess up to this guy you like? Huh?" Lumi looked at the dull-but pained expression on Ryan's face as Cobalt spoke. "You could always stay here with us, you know.." She smiled and looked at Cobalt. "We ain't gonna judge you for-" Ryan turned to Lumi, watching her as she laid her head in his neck. "For being a monster?" Cobalt shushed him. "We all got a monster of some kind inside us, buddy." Lumi and Cobalt's words were laced with false care and concern-but Ryan was too drunk to notice. Cobalt only grinned, knowing he was easily swayed at this point. He knew they could seal the deal like Atom seemed to want when he brought Ryan into the house. "C'mon, Ryan..what are ya gonna choose?" Ryan's gaze moved away from Lumi and stared at the coffee table, as though he were trying to focus. He took a breath and shut his eyes, opening them to stare at the table again.

 _ **"Yeah..I'll stay. I don't see any point or reason in going back home again."**_


	2. What Happened To You?

It had been a few months since Ryan came to stay with his new..friends, and Atom had warned him to check into school every now and then to make sure there wouldn't be any suspicion put on anyone. Alcohol occasionally had turned to nearly every other day-sometimes a two or three day space in between, but Lumi and the others had started offering him other things to keep the heartache at bay. Drugs of a sort..nothing heavy, at least not yet. It was powdery and grainy, yet tasted sweet-with a tangy, tart kick. All Ryan knew is that it knocked him for a loop every time and he felt invincible yet emotionless while he was on it. As he opened the doors to his high school, he waved at his friend Sky. He didn't notice Sky watch him suspiciously as he walked away, arms crossed in thought. As Ryan headed down the halls, he had to stop in the stairwell and take a breath. He was currently on the powder and drunk-Atom had let him drink-claiming he was 'skilled' enough to hide it in public. Readjusting his glasses, Ryan managed to sit through the whole school day and check in with the school counselor-telling her that he'd be absent sometimes due to using the school's Alternative Education Programs. He was lying his ass off-but the counselor bought it. Taking a breath and heading through the halls to leave school, he paused when he saw Odis waving at him, giving him a small smile. Ryan felt his heart rate speed up a bit. God, even now his heartache wouldn't subside. He loved this clueless droid, and it _hurt_. Seeing Odis get closer, Ryan walked toward him and decided to try and hold a conversation. "Hello, Ryan-" Odis frowned, watching Ryan's relaxed stance. Interesting. Ryan wasn't very expressive, or so it appeared to Odis. "You've missed classes..are you ill?" He shook his head, chuckling shakily.

"Nah, Nah Odis I'm alright. I just decided to take up the Alternative Education Programs the school has to offer. I study off on my own sometimes. Listen, I.." He could tell Odis. He could tell him everything right now. Pour his heart out and tell Odis how he felt..how much it hurt knowing that he loved him but he knew he might get hurt because of the curse. Mentally urging himself to speak, Ryan opened his mouth, then shut it again. In an instant the story his mom told him of Zane defending her against his dad popped into his head. Doubt settled into his already clouded mind, and he took a breath. Zane would never allow it. Watching Odis for a moment, he chuckled and ruffled his blonde hair. "I want you to take care of yourself, alright? I may not be around much because of the program, but I'll still look out for ya. It's what friends do, right?" Odis nodded..but internally, he was a little concerned for his friend. He would never outwardly express his concern, but maybe..he should check on him later. "Of course, Ryan. You take care of yourself, too." Ryan seemed to tense up at these words, then slowly relaxed. "Yeah..I'll try, Snowball." He patted his shoulder and began to walk off, letting out a sigh when he was out of Odis's earshot. Looking at Lumi as he left the building, he rolled his eyes at her. "I'm walkin' back by myself. Tell Atom I'll be back when I'm ready to do the job." Lumi huffed and crossed her arms. "Fine! The high from that stuff you had this afternoon will last for quite a few more hours. But you better come back!" She walked off and Ryan shook his head, walking the streets of the city for a while. As the sun began to set, he sighed and walked toward the part of the city where Atom and the others resided. The job. The job Atom wanted him to do. A simple heist, robbing a droid parts store. Why? He had no idea, maybe they wanted to sell the parts and make some cash.

Taking a breath as it began to rain, Ryan ran a hand through his hair and stepped into a nearby alley, taking a shortcut. He grunted and held his chest, trying to steady himself. Something hurt, and badly. Vision blurring briefly, he shakily gripped the brick wall. He was fine, right? When his vision refocused he heard a thud, then running footsteps as Arctic Cheetah now stood in front of him. Arctic tilted his head to the side, carefully coming closer. He knew Ryan would know it was him under the helmet-but wouldn't say anything. Ryan felt sick, holding his chest and cringing. "Arctic.." His voice was a strained, painful growl. The shift happened in an instant, and Arctic barely had time to move away. The curse had fed on his weakened state, the heartache and the doubt in Ryan's mind. The lean, towering beast cracked his neck as he looked around, gaze soon fixated on the vigilante. He lunged at Arctic, who slid back a few feet as he was shoved. Could he get Ryan subdued and snapped out of this before he ran off and seriously hurt someone? Running at Ryan and tossing a few throwing stars at him, he watched him recoil in slight pain-but only briefly. Arctic jumped when he was swung at, dodging and landing nearby. He might have difficulty subduing him-Ryan was much bigger and taller than him at the moment. Arctic flinched back when the beast pulled the stars out and threw them down, snarling directly at him and narrowing his solid red eyes. He couldn't panic, not now. He couldn't afford to lose focus for even a second. Pulling his katana from the sheath on his back, he brandished it at Ryan-who let out a defensive growl. Swinging the blade when Ryan didn't back down, the helmeted vigilante sliced his arm and earned a pained hiss in return. Would pain make him snap out of it? He didn't know. Arctic pulled the blade back to his side, looking at the blood on it. His best friend's blood.

He shivered a bit and looked at the wound he'd made on Ryan's arm, slightly distracted. Ryan took this opportunity to pull his arm back and smack Arctic into the brick wall of the alley, clawed hand shredding the front of his suit and tearing his synthetic skin a little. Oil leaked out of the front of his uniform, and he sparked a bit, disoriented by the impact. Trying to get up, he only grunted when Ryan smacked him back into the wall again, feeling oil leak from the new tears in his suit and skin. Now forcing himself to stand, Arctic picked up his katana and ran at Ryan. As the fight continued, he'd slashed and hacked at Ryan-as little as possible, this was still his friend after all. He didn't want him seriously injured. Ryan had gotten a few strikes in as well, and Arctic barely stood, covered in oil and his helmet cracked. He noticed his friend's red eyes flicker and start to fade, watching Ryan gaze at him with slight anger. He was coming to. Arctic couldn't be here when that happened. Sheathing his katana and picking up his throwing stars, he ran from the scene, pain coursing through his body with each step. Ryan grunted and held his head, leaning against the brick wall of the alley as he lost consciousness. As he woke from blacking out, the mental fog and physical changes slowly faded and he was finally back to normal. He could feel the high from the drug this afternoon slowly fading-but the alcohol was still in his body-he could tell. He was bleeding, but could barely feel the pain because of the intoxication. Lumi had been watching this from afar, a slow grin crossing her face. Oh so **that** was why the boss wanted to keep him. She noticed his high was wearing off, and decided to have a little... _unauthorized_ fun. Activating her hologram and shifting programs, she checked herself in her compact mirror, Odis's face reflected back at her and smirking. Good. It still worked-the part in her body hadn't burn out yet. Looking down at herself, she chuckled-but it was Odis's voice. It'd disguised her whole body, face, and voice perfectly. Coming out of the shadows, 'Odis' came into Ryan's view, walking slow and covered in oil from the fight. "Ryan..? Are you alright?" Ryan's head turned toward Odis, confused. How long had he been out?

Odis came closer, green eyes watching his face. Reaching up, he placed his cool hand on Ryan's cheek and frowned. His other hand rested on the bleeding wound on Ryan's arm, gently squeezing it. The way Odis spoke confused him. In fact, his whole demeanor was strange. Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but he shook his head. "Odis..why are you covered in oil? How did you get hurt, Snowball? You know I told you to take care of yourself, who did this?" Odis looked to the side, shaking his head. He didn't want to talk about it-that was fine. Ryan understood, he knew some fights were best not spoken of. "It's okay." He said, shutting his eyes for a moment. 'Odis' took that opportunity to dig a vial out of his pocket, opening his mouth and dumping the powder on his tongue quickly, shutting his mouth when Ryan opened his eyes again. He raised an eyebrow when Odis reached up and pulled him down by his collar. "What's wrong man? I-" He was cut off when Odis kissed him, soft lips pressed carefully against his and parted slightly. His eyes widened in surprise and a heavy blush crept into his cheeks. Something was off. Had the fight Odis was in scrambled his brains a bit? He _never_ acted like this. Ryan's worried thoughts dissipated in an instant when he felt Odis slip his tongue past his lips, eyes slowly closing as he reached down and picked Odis up, having the blonde droid wrap his legs around his waist so he wouldn't have to keep leaning down. The powder dissolved unnoticed between them, and Ryan slowly broke the kiss. "Odis, are you sure-" He shushed Ryan and carefully cupped his cheek in his hand. "But Odis, you-" Odis shushed him again and smiled as Ryan bit his lip, looking to the side.

"You shouldn't, I'd just hurt you, and your dad would-" He frowned, watching Ryan. Moving his head back to him, Odis gave him another kiss, slowly pulling away. "I love you, Ryan." He felt his heart speed up, watching him in disbelief. "What did you say?" Ryan got closer, swallowing the pain in his chest. "Say it again." Odis tilted his head to the side, giving him a smile. "I love you, Ryan." Ryan kissed him and shut his eyes for a moment-until the thought of Odis mangled on the floor popped into his head-his deepest fear. Hurting Odis like his mother had been hurt by his father. He slowly pulled away, worried gaze watching the blonde droid. The powder would take effect soon, and Ryan would be out of it enough that Lumi could slip away unnoticed and could finally stop this Odis facade. Ryan's pupils slowly dilated as the drug took effect and he bit his lip, watching Odis and shaking his head as he carefully set him back down on the ground. He made sure he could stand, gravelly voice speaking in a pained tone. Doubts settled into his mind once again and preyed on the heartache and new emotions running rampant in his heart from the kisses and Odis's confession. "No, I.." He shut his eyes and shook his head, taking a breath and opening them to watch the confused droid. "You shouldn't. I..love you too, but you shouldn't. Mom got lucky, but I'd never want you to-" Ryan felt..strange again. Maybe he was still drunk. "I'd never want you to hurt that way. Your dad would kill me, Snowball." He scratched his cheek, heartbreak clear to be seen on his face. "Or your mom would. I'm..not worth it. Not right now." Odis frowned, watching him. "But..Ryan..-" He took his hand, carefully holding it. "Odis..-" Ryan was tempted to lock their fingers together, and just stand there in the rain, holding him for a little while. The image of Odis mangled on the floor forced it's way into his mind again and his eyes watered as he slowly let go of the blonde droid's hand, shaking his head. His voice cracked as he watched Odis. "N-No. I'm sorry, but I can't risk hurting you." Odis rolled his eyes, a sharp edge to his tone as he began walking away, leaving Ryan behind in the rain.

 _ **"What happened to you? You've changed."**_


End file.
